Life’s short…

Pumpkins and hippies and robbers…OH MY! November 2, 2007

I know, I know, I haven’t posted…you try having three kids in hockey, one that is moving out, a dog with an ear infection, a job, Halloween on a weeknight complete with a teengage Halloween party

(My kid is on the far right of the second pic.) (FYI, this is only about a third of what was here, I couldn’t fit them all in)

that consisted of the entire 10th grade and then some…and then there is the part where there just wasn’t anything more exciting to write about than last weekends party that we got drunk at attended cuz I am positive you do not want to hear about how I drive back and forth to the hockey rink fourteen gagillion times a week…well that is nothing interesting until yesterday…

I arrived at work at 8:25 am, walked all the way to the back door which had a sign on it that said…use front door…damn it!  No, the sign didn’t say “damn it”…I did.   I then had to walk all the way the heck back around the big hugenormous building to the front to get in, all the while cussing because we live in MINNESOTA PEOPLE!  Do you know it’s freakin’ frigid ass cold in the morning in November here?  HELLO!  Why would you lock the main employee entrance and make poor little old freezin’ her booty off mwah walk all the way around?  As I walked up the two, count them, two, really tall flights of stairs, I noticed a little bit of glass on them, kept walking anyhow, got to the top, turned the corner and saw this…

 

Gasped…

Turned the next corner and found this…

 

Isn’t it cute…

It’s the police report number, and a very broken door handle, complete with fingerprint dust and everything along with a pretty well jammed dead bolt, thank you very much, because apparently some idiots had a very different idea of what TRICK OR TREAT means.  Candy bars, suckers, and popcorn balls are not what they wanted this year, greedy bastards.

Now fortunately, our dead bolt was locked, (we have really important documents in our office) and they didn’t actually get into our office (they did manage to get in to some other offices and made away with a few laptops and cameras)…as a matter of fact neither could I and I had the freakin’ key, but the bolt was bent downward from the crow bar or whatever it is that they used to try to get in and I couldn’t turn it.

I walked myself back down to the main office and told the dilemma to my boss Pat, who replied with…ooooh, let me go see if I can karate kick it open…I giggled.

We walked back down to my office and just as he said, he gave it a swift one, two, karate kick, LOL!  I totally should have video’d this because it was hysterical and also…it didn’t work, so, he tried it again, I laughed some more…the wall moved this time, but not the door, not even an inch.

Making a long story short, they called a locksmith and I was in the office within the next hour, they replaced all of the locks and handles and all was good.  It sure did make for an exciting day though…by the way…does anyone know how to get fingerprint dust off?  It is still all over the door and somehow I managed to get it on my clothes…and when I asked the officer he said, “I just put the stuff on, I don’t know how to get it off.”  Nice.

 

“The Halloween Story” October 28, 2007

 

 

The Great Halloween story…Sequel to…”Possibly another drunken story”

Our story starts out at the home of “T2” and “G”…

The excitement of this night has been mounting all week, everyone one is giddy with happiness, the beers were maybe partly to blame for the mood.

Homies “T2”, “G”, “M”, “T”, (he, he, get it…m, t,…you know…empty…lol) “D”, and “J”, get together at “T2” and “G”’s to the start off the evening.  They had decided to do some pregaming while getting their costumes together, there is much laughter as “T2” and “G”’s daughter’s “K”, and “K2”, apply “T2”, “M”, and “D”’s makeup.

After they finish, the group is ready to snap a few pics, this proves to be one of the highlights of the night.  With the guys being sort of rambunctious in costume, they ran around squeezing each other’s well stuffed braziers, striking poses, making sexy lips faces to each other (a particular fav of “D”’s), pinching butt cheeks and saying things they thought apparently sounded like something real women have said at some point in their lives.

The hired ride arrives, off to the bar the 3 couples go…

Upon arrival the Seventies Charlie Angels get an impressive rise out of the crowd at the bar.  It was a total riot!  The Hot Charlies Angels, while hot and all, didn’t get as much of a reaction, ( in fact…none)but they were ok with that.  Being the good sports that they are, they just kicked back with theirs beers and let their guy/girls have their fun.

As the night progressed much mingling, singing, flirting with all the Angels, boob squeezing, and butt slapping, may have occurred…everyone was enjoying themselves immensely.  Free shots for anyone in costume?  What?  Where? Who came up with that stupid idea…just say no “G”…just say no.  ”G” listens and declineds the free shots as did most of the group…just not “J”…rumor has it…she may have had two!  Which might explain some of this…

and maybe this…

ehem…yet I have know idea why this might have happened???

or this?

Or any of this…

“J” is such naughty girl…isn’t she?

OH MY!!!

So any hoo…these three clowns Charlies Angels…win third prize!!!

Last call is announced, the limo arrives to pick up the crew, a night of fun has come to an end, but never fear, the “three” got a beer tab for winning third, so you know what that means…a sequel to the Halloween Party Night!

 

The end…

Photo Credits:

“T2”, “G”, “T”, and also some random people in the bar…

There’s more stuff over here at “T”‘s…if you are interested

 

Feeling a little bloggy today… October 19, 2007

Well…since Terri and Joe think that I have been neglecting my blog… I decided to be all bloggy on my day off and overload you all!  You can totally always count on me to be nice like that.  So without further adoooo…A WEEK IN REVIEW…It started out last Saturday morning when for the first time in months I had not woken up from a bad dream about my childhood (aka nutjob mother…elaboration coming someday…maybe) but instead I had dreamt that my home office was this really calm and fun place to work in…so duh…I went to Menards and bought paint…

This is what it looked like before (well after I asked my really awesome hubby if A, he would help me move everything out of my office)

 

(And 2, if he cared that I paint my office PINK)

 

Isn’t it cool?  I love it!  It’s like I am shopping at Vickie’s all day long!

 

Then off to meet the BFF and “company” at the bar of course

There was some of this…

 

And a little of that…

 

And maybe some of this…

 

OOOOh how I love the whole payback thing!  LOL!

We had some serious fun that night.

And sorry Joe…we forgot to take the pic you requested, will this do?

 

I only had to work at the office two days this week, so on my days off I keyed at home in my pretty pretty new office, went through the 4 gagillion penis enlargement emails (which I graciously forwarded onto some my friends that I thought were maybe in need of something like that, because..duh…I don’t have a penis of my own and I am also nice like that), met with a couple of customers, worked on photo orders, went to conferences for 4 of the 5 of my superduperdeedoo chicklets, and tried to find space for all of the leftover crap from my office that I have no idea what to do with…

 

Not happening…

Did I mention the Amazing Rock Incident?

 

That’s right, you heard me…it appears there is this amazing rock that can totally jump some 15 feet in the air.all.by.it’s self.

 

No really…look!

 

This happened last week Thursday night, when I was busy in my still olive drab office.  My son came down to my office and said, and I quote, “the window is broken”…not “I broke the window”…but rather, “the window is broken”…I asked…”How did the window get broken?”  and he simply replied with…”this rock rolled across the sidewalk and it took a bad hop up and hit the window”…I then said…”how does a rock just take a bad hop up and hit the window hard enough to break it?”…he said…”I don’t know, it just did.”…that is almost the end of the story, I will keep the events that occurred after to myself…yes he IS still alive today.

 

Rain Rain Go AWAY!

Filed under: Blogroll,Boredom,Humor,Life,Photography,Uncategorized — mommy2five @ 6:41 pm

 Hey Noah…maybe we should get started on that ark?

(since it has been raining for 40 days and 40 nights, we have this lovely river going through our backyard…what?…it seems like it)

 

I’ve been MEME’d!

Filed under: Blogroll,Humor,Life,meme,Photography — mommy2five @ 6:33 pm

Ok, so it appears that my BFF has tagged me on  some meme thingy…which I have no idea what a meme is or what it stands for, for I am a rookie at this whole blogging thing.  I did figure out thought that I am suppose to copy my desktop here for all to see…I bet (since I am a photographer kind of person and all) that everyone would expect to see some beautiful photograph of something really cool or something here?  Well, guess what!  I have NEVER had anything other than the regular old thingy that shows up when you turn on the computer as my wallpaper. It’s not that I don’t know how…it is however that I am incredibly lazy when it comes to that sort of thing and have just never cared.  But behold!   Look at all of my pretty, pretty icons on my desktops, yes I have two screens, because I am totally techy like that!  So there, I did it, and because I have like two friends on here and don’t really know anyone else…yet…and the two people that I do know already did it…I will just tag anyone who wants to do it and you can let me know if and when you did…how does that sound?   If you need the directions on how to take a screenshot you can go here and T will show you the way.

 

Idiot Parenting 101 October 2, 2007

Filed under: Blogroll,Humor,Life,Parenting,Photography,Stupidity — mommy2five @ 11:44 pm

Ya ever feel like the biggest dumb ass parent in the whole wide universe?  I do…

 

I will start by prefacing this story with “the reason I did not post yesterday”.  I felt like a crabby out of control hormonal bitch to be quite honest.  I was stressin’ out over stupid crap all day and my crabby attitude rolled right into the bedtime hour and then I couldn’t sleep.  Which brings me to this morning…I woke up at the butt crack of dawn to bring my daughter to school, I was still crabby, and I was still stressin’, and on top of it now tired. 

When I got back from bringing her to school, I then had to get Jack and Madison ready for school.  Jack came downstairs for the 22nd school day with a very mismatched outfit on.  Let me also tell you, my children all have nice clothing to wear to school, and if worn together as “outfits” they look great.  However, I bought him two pairs of these athletic pants from the gap one a green pair with blue stripes down the side, and the other navy blue with gold stripes down the side, each have two shirts meant to be worn with them as “outfits”.  No these are not the only clothes I bought him for school, but he seems to especially like those particular two pairs of pants, they must be comfy or something, which is fine, as long as they are worn with the intended shirts.  Neither of them go especially well with the brown and cream and green striped Gap polo shirt geeze Jack what are you thinking?  As he rounded the corner wearing again a mismatched outfit, I looked at him and very crabbily said “Jesus Christ Jack, what the hell is  wrong with you?  We have been going through this same scenario every freaking school day!  That shirt does not match those pants!  Go change, what the hell? Are you f-ing color blind?”  At which point he strolled back up the stairs without saying a word to change his clothes, and my six year old daughter Madison (remember her?  The overly smart and logical child?) says “Well duh mom, he IS color blind.”  This is the exact moment that I shriveled up into a tiny little pile of shit on the floor.  I then say to myself “ You f-ing moron…how the hell can you call yourself a mother, all summer you looked at that kid playing outside, all the while giggling at his choice of outfits, wondering how he comes up with these color combinations and then you say to yourself, “he is only playing outside with his friends who cares”, not giving one single thought, and obviously totally forgetting….HE IS COLORBLIND!  DUH.YOU.STUPID.ASS!”

After I regrouped myself I went up and apologized PROFUSELY and helped him pick out a new outfit.  He didn’t seem to be too upset with me…HE IS SUCH A GREAT KID!

I don’t really feel like I deserve him today…