Life’s short…

Aging will not kick my ASS! February 24, 2008

Filed under: Bars,Beer,Humor,Life,Stupidity — mommy2five @ 12:38 pm
Tags: , , ,

So yesterday marked the joyous event of my 29th…oops…39th birthday. Thanks to my homegirl “T“, it was an extra special night of eating, drinking (duh), crawling through small spaces, and bowling fun! However, either I drank waaay too much or my age is getting the best of me. I don’t feel any “older” I just feel like shit.  You see it seems as though I never learn my lesson when it comes to knowing when too many is just too many. “T” and “M” went home around midnight last night (I think)…I…on the other hand, trotted my sorry behind down to meet up with Jen at the local shit watering hole to continue on with my birthday festivities…until 2:00 am. And let’s not stop there…why wouldn’t Jen and I go to the truck stop and have breakfast? I was already up and getting hungry and we haven’t really hung out alone for a long, long time so it was a good time for a quality chit chat catchup session and a bunch of giggling because we are really mature like that. I finally made it home around 3:45 am and that brings me to now…I am so tired. I don’t actually think that I drank that much considering the amount of time I was out, and I never really felt like I was seriously buzzing…so I am drawing the conclusion that maybe it is the serious lack of sleep my body is retaliating to…not so much the alcohol consumption factor. Let’s face it old people need a lot of sleep…right?

Hold on a second…too much coffee…I have to pee…

K…I am back…

I think that every birthday should be for two days…the first day is for the partying part and the second day is for the recovery part…sound fair? I thought you would see it my way. So for the rest of today I think I am going to lounge a little and then go meet up with “T” to chat it up over a cup of Starbucks and…try to regain my youth.

Advertisements
 

It’s all coming back to me now! November 12, 2007

Filed under: Bars,Beer,Blogroll,Humor,Life,Stupidity,Therapy — mommy2five @ 2:50 pm
Tags: , , , , , ,

I was thinking about all the topics that I am going to write about on here someday…but…I started to remember some of the incidents and happenings of Saturday night so I thought I might share some of them instead.  Although sorry to disappoint, I will not be telling you in traditional story format, because that is just getting old. 

I remembered that with in the first 10 minutes of being in the bar the words “I am soooo BLOGGING that!” shot out of my mouth…can’t remember however what it was that I was going to blog…just that I was SOOOOO gonna do it.

I remembered taking a whole bunch of pictures of Jennie with Terri and Terri with Jennie, and also Jennie with Dwayne…or was it Dwight?  Jennie with Mark, Mark with Dan, Terri with DJ Dawg (He was officially named Homie DJ Dawg, compliments of Terri and I today, because he whined that he didn’t have a “Homie” name and wanted one), my beer…DUH…cuz I almost always take at least one picture of my beer, (funny how every weekend it looks the same as the last) Terri’s butt, Jennie’s butt, me in the mirror in the bathroom (whoaaa! Can you say flash reflection?)…oh yeah, and then the pictures of us throwing popcorn in Jennie’s hoodie hood, cuz she was “drunk” and wouldn’t remember it in the morning…the unibomber (he had his hood on his head in the bar the entire night…freak) Mark and Jennie again, Dan doing really disgusting things…it involved a tongue and some fingers, me, (man I look really drunk in that one) and finally…my cell phone, (which was actually a text message that was being sent to my lovely birthday boy hubby type that didn’t show up to the bar to party with us for his birthday) the message read, “Fan thinks I got a boo job!”, translation “Dan thinks I got a boob job”…I didn’t.

The night was definitely filled with more “I am soooo gonna blog that!”  But I can’t remember any of the said instances…except for the one about the Rod Lebster…it took me awhile but I finally remembered why I said that, here goes…there was this scrubby looking fellow talking to Jennie, and Terri asked me who he was and why was he talking to her…I replied with…”Oh I think she knows him from the Rod Lebster”…sparking yet another huge bout of laughter from Terri and me and then I said “That’s so mine!  I am so gonna blog that one, you can’t take it from me!!  I totally have to write that down so I don’t forget it.”…somehow it is not nearly as funny as I am typing this.  

I for one did a whole lot of really horrible singing, I will not speak for anyone else…I was for sure beyond drunk…it was definitely not my best night of performances.  The “Trio” for sure tried to sing the Pussy Cat Dolls…again…Jennie.we.so.can’t.sing.that.song.  I do remember at one point somebody and me dancing out on the patio…badly…and no, I did not take off any articles of clothing…I just meant I also cannot dance and somehow it always looks sort of bad and naughty…I don’t try.  I am pretty sure the “Lawn Mower” the “Sprinkler” and “Grocery Shopping” are not real dances…and the “Spanky Spank” also does not qualify…you be the judge.

I just now remembered that I was making faces from the patio into the bar involving my nostrils and fat lips on the glass.oh.dear.God.what.have.I.done?  I better stop now…I am pretty sure I don’t want to remember anything else at this point, I think it may be wise for me to see a shrink.  Does anyone know one that does not have the initials MGD?

That’s it, besides the fact that we stopped at another bar on the way home…we aren’t even going there…I managed to pass out in my bed without…puking…it was a “chunk free” evening…therefore it must have been good evening…right?

 

Wow…I am so lazy… November 11, 2007

Filed under: Bars,Beer,Blogroll,Boredom,Humor,Life,Stupidity — mommy2five @ 11:07 am
Tags: , , , , , ,

Ok, so you’re going to laugh…I think…last night, “D” and “J” picked me up because “T2” was tired and jet lagged from the week in Altanta (which I sorta didn’t tell you all because I was creeped out about telling the internet he was gone for a week and I was home here with five kids by myself and all) so he was taking a little nap and then meeting us all up at Pep’s later.  It was his B-day on Wednesday but he was out of town so we didn’t celebrate it and it is someone else’s B-day today, hence most of the reason why “the crew” was going out to begin with.  So, I had every intention of sitting down at the computer today and writing some fantastic version of last night events…

Well…I am really tired…not hungover, just really, really tired…lazy…and also…the only thing I can remember right now is that at some point during a conversation with “T“, I said Rod Lebster…I only know this because there was a napkin in my pocket that said “I said Rod Lebster”.

Oh, also, I think I found the Unibomber…see…shhhh…he doesn’t know I caugh him on camera…I am so sly like that…

PS “T2” never did get his ass out of bed…we totally celebrated with out him…and also, everybody give a big shout out to “T“, as she turns 29 today!!!

 

A new story in the works… November 10, 2007

Filed under: Bars,Beer,Humor,Life,Therapy — mommy2five @ 5:10 pm
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Ya all might want to stay tuned…I feel a new story in the making…It’s two somebody specials BIRTHDAYS!!!  I will give you a hint…one starts with a “T” and the other starts with a “J”.  It could be a good one…

OFF WE GOOOOO!!!

PS  Lol!! Look at my tags, lol!  What was I thinking…that one must have subconciously slipped…oops!  Either that or it’s the pre game beers that I am drinking while I am posting…hmmm.

 

“The Halloween Story” October 28, 2007

 

 

The Great Halloween story…Sequel to…”Possibly another drunken story”

Our story starts out at the home of “T2” and “G”…

The excitement of this night has been mounting all week, everyone one is giddy with happiness, the beers were maybe partly to blame for the mood.

Homies “T2”, “G”, “M”, “T”, (he, he, get it…m, t,…you know…empty…lol) “D”, and “J”, get together at “T2” and “G”’s to the start off the evening.  They had decided to do some pregaming while getting their costumes together, there is much laughter as “T2” and “G”’s daughter’s “K”, and “K2”, apply “T2”, “M”, and “D”’s makeup.

After they finish, the group is ready to snap a few pics, this proves to be one of the highlights of the night.  With the guys being sort of rambunctious in costume, they ran around squeezing each other’s well stuffed braziers, striking poses, making sexy lips faces to each other (a particular fav of “D”’s), pinching butt cheeks and saying things they thought apparently sounded like something real women have said at some point in their lives.

The hired ride arrives, off to the bar the 3 couples go…

Upon arrival the Seventies Charlie Angels get an impressive rise out of the crowd at the bar.  It was a total riot!  The Hot Charlies Angels, while hot and all, didn’t get as much of a reaction, ( in fact…none)but they were ok with that.  Being the good sports that they are, they just kicked back with theirs beers and let their guy/girls have their fun.

As the night progressed much mingling, singing, flirting with all the Angels, boob squeezing, and butt slapping, may have occurred…everyone was enjoying themselves immensely.  Free shots for anyone in costume?  What?  Where? Who came up with that stupid idea…just say no “G”…just say no.  ”G” listens and declineds the free shots as did most of the group…just not “J”…rumor has it…she may have had two!  Which might explain some of this…

and maybe this…

ehem…yet I have know idea why this might have happened???

or this?

Or any of this…

“J” is such naughty girl…isn’t she?

OH MY!!!

So any hoo…these three clowns Charlies Angels…win third prize!!!

Last call is announced, the limo arrives to pick up the crew, a night of fun has come to an end, but never fear, the “three” got a beer tab for winning third, so you know what that means…a sequel to the Halloween Party Night!

 

The end…

Photo Credits:

“T2”, “G”, “T”, and also some random people in the bar…

There’s more stuff over here at “T”‘s…if you are interested

 

Possibly another Drunken story… October 23, 2007

Filed under: Bars,Beer,Blogroll,Boredom,Humor,Life,Stupidity,Therapy,Uncategorized — mommy2five @ 9:15 am
Tags: , , , , , , ,

This is a mostly fictitious story possibly based on somewhat actual events that may or may not have occurred on Saturday night…the characters names have been changed to conceal their identities…um…nevermind the photo’s…

(No photo of “T2” is available at this time)

Three amigos, Homie “G”, Homie “T”, and “T2”, set out for a night of fun, the plan was to meet up with a group of other friends at a quaint little place for a few rounds of drinks and some bad um awesome singing, when late in the afternoon it seemed as though the group of others would not be able to make it out.  Oh NO!  Plans had been foiled and Homie “G” was feeling a bit like the night was going to be a flop.  Homie “T”, however, still optimistic that a night of fun was still ahead.  So after much deliberation, the three set out to the quaint little place anyway. 

Upon arriving, their favorite high top was empty and calling their names, they got seated and ordered up a bucket of beer.  The high top next to theirs was occupied by another group of three amigos, how ironic?  We will call them Pink, Brown, and Big “R”.  Homie “G” addresses the group at the other high top, because she is bold like that.  It appeared as though it was Pinks birthday and the three of them were there to celebrate, Pink was already close to three sheets and was an absolute blast!  Brown a little quieter but still a fun girl was well on her way also, Big R seemed to be the instigator in why the two girls were already toast at 9:30 in the evening. 

Soon the two high tops became one, and the two groups of three became a group of six, new friendships had been formed!

“T”, “G”, Pink and Brown continue to tear the place up with lots of horrific, I mean ROCKSTAR singing, and laughter, as Big R and “T2” look fondly upon their chicks.  The night was going fairly smoothly at this point and Big R decides to order up a round of Blow Jobs for the group.  “G” being a beer only kinda gal, hesitantly slams her Blow Job all the while proclaiming her blatant dislike of hard liquor because she knows she will pay severely for it later, and BTW…it tasted like heaven. 

As the evening turned into the wee hours of the morning…1:00am, the bar owners decide to kick them all out…no, I don’t know why…it’s not like the six amigos were out of control or anything…anyway, after the exchange of phone numbers and emails, and lots of hugs kisses and “I love you’s”, cuz you know when you are that drunk, you will hug anyone near you, and friendships that were formed at a bar in 3.5hours “are” for life and you suddenly love these people and you will miss them dearly for sure.  Pink, Brown, and Big R, stumble across the parking lot to the hotel they were staying, and “G”, “T”, and “T2”, get in their motor vehicle to drive home (fortunately “T2” was sober to drive), “T2” and “G” arrive in “T’s” driveway to drop her off and proceed home.

Approximately 1 mile later…“G” says…

“I don’t…BLAAAHHEECCH…I don’t feel so good…hmmm…that strangely tasted like a Blow Job”…no, silly not that kind…the one “G” drank…nevermind

Hey, did you know it is totally un cool to blow chow all over a Lincoln Navigator?  Neither did “G” until Saturday night!

The end

 Stay tuned for the sequel…The Halloween Story, where “T”, “G”, “T2”, and a new character (to be announced) will be playing out their roles in an adventure taking place at Roddy’s, a little shit hole bar in…oh forget it…just stay tuned!

 

 

Feeling a little bloggy today… October 19, 2007

Well…since Terri and Joe think that I have been neglecting my blog… I decided to be all bloggy on my day off and overload you all!  You can totally always count on me to be nice like that.  So without further adoooo…A WEEK IN REVIEW…It started out last Saturday morning when for the first time in months I had not woken up from a bad dream about my childhood (aka nutjob mother…elaboration coming someday…maybe) but instead I had dreamt that my home office was this really calm and fun place to work in…so duh…I went to Menards and bought paint…

This is what it looked like before (well after I asked my really awesome hubby if A, he would help me move everything out of my office)

 

(And 2, if he cared that I paint my office PINK)

 

Isn’t it cool?  I love it!  It’s like I am shopping at Vickie’s all day long!

 

Then off to meet the BFF and “company” at the bar of course

There was some of this…

 

And a little of that…

 

And maybe some of this…

 

OOOOh how I love the whole payback thing!  LOL!

We had some serious fun that night.

And sorry Joe…we forgot to take the pic you requested, will this do?

 

I only had to work at the office two days this week, so on my days off I keyed at home in my pretty pretty new office, went through the 4 gagillion penis enlargement emails (which I graciously forwarded onto some my friends that I thought were maybe in need of something like that, because..duh…I don’t have a penis of my own and I am also nice like that), met with a couple of customers, worked on photo orders, went to conferences for 4 of the 5 of my superduperdeedoo chicklets, and tried to find space for all of the leftover crap from my office that I have no idea what to do with…

 

Not happening…

Did I mention the Amazing Rock Incident?

 

That’s right, you heard me…it appears there is this amazing rock that can totally jump some 15 feet in the air.all.by.it’s self.

 

No really…look!

 

This happened last week Thursday night, when I was busy in my still olive drab office.  My son came down to my office and said, and I quote, “the window is broken”…not “I broke the window”…but rather, “the window is broken”…I asked…”How did the window get broken?”  and he simply replied with…”this rock rolled across the sidewalk and it took a bad hop up and hit the window”…I then said…”how does a rock just take a bad hop up and hit the window hard enough to break it?”…he said…”I don’t know, it just did.”…that is almost the end of the story, I will keep the events that occurred after to myself…yes he IS still alive today.