Life’s short…

Life is all about choices people! June 15, 2010

Filed under: Blogroll,Humor,Life,Parenting,Uncategorized — mommy2five @ 10:46 am
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Dear family,
#1 Should you choose to make a bowl of cereal in the morning, this would mean that you are making the choice to put said bowl and spoon into the dishwasher (its the black flat thing in the middle of the cabinets)…if the dishwasher is full of clean dishes at the time, then you are also choosing to unload the clean before placing the dirty inside. (Side note, other used dishes throughout the day are included in this choice, and yes this means the pots and pans.)
#2 Should you choose to pee or otherwise in the toilet…any toilet…this would mean that you are also choosing to use the little lever cleverly located on the left hand side of the toilet to flush it down.
#3 Should you choose to wear socks and or underwear on any particular day this would mean you are also choosing to place them in the laundry hamper located in the laundry room…not on the floor, upon their removal…other articles of clothing and towels are also included in this particular choice.
#4 Should you choose to play with the WII, Playstation 2, Gamecube, DS, Sega, or any other such system…you are also choosing to put these items back NEATLY in their proper place.
#5 Should you choose to drag mud ALL THE EFFING WAY THROUGH THE ENTIRE EFFING HOUSE…UPSTAIRS AND DOWN…then you are choosing to get out the damn Floormate, fill it, and then also run it…(I just effing did this at 10:00pm LAST NIGHT!)
#6 Should you choose to turn on lights, TV’s, etc., and then leave a room, you may also choose to shut off the lights, TV’s, etc…OR…pay the astronomical EXCEL BILL! (you get two choices with this one)
#7 Should you choose to sleep in your bed, you are also choosing to make said bed upon departure in the AM or PM or whenever it may be.
#8 Should you sit on my couch or love seat at any given time during the day you are also choosing to fix the pillows and remove any of your crap you left behind upon departure of this area.
#9 Should you choose to wear shoes, then you are also choosing to put them away…where they belong. The back, front, and, middle entryways are not where they belong…just in case you haven’t heard your father and I tell you that the other four frillion times…OUT FRIGGEN LOUD!
#10 Should you choose to remove the contents of any box that I have already packed…then CLEARLY…you are choosing to lose a digit! NO EXCEPTIONS! We move in 13 days people!!!
Thank you.
Signed,
NOT THE DAMN MAID!
PS…
I am choosing to win the damn lottery tomorrow…so please to choose to sell me the winning effing lottery ticket Mr/Ms convenience store cashier!

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