Idiot Parenting 101

Ya ever feel like the biggest dumb ass parent in the whole wide universe?  I do…

 

I will start by prefacing this story with “the reason I did not post yesterday”.  I felt like a crabby out of control hormonal bitch to be quite honest.  I was stressin’ out over stupid crap all day and my crabby attitude rolled right into the bedtime hour and then I couldn’t sleep.  Which brings me to this morning…I woke up at the butt crack of dawn to bring my daughter to school, I was still crabby, and I was still stressin’, and on top of it now tired. 

When I got back from bringing her to school, I then had to get Jack and Madison ready for school.  Jack came downstairs for the 22^nd school day with a very mismatched outfit on.  Let me also tell you, my children all have nice clothing to wear to school, and if worn together as “outfits” they look great.  However, I bought him two pairs of these athletic pants from the gap one a green pair with blue stripes down the side, and the other navy blue with gold stripes down the side, each have two shirts meant to be worn with them as “outfits”.  No these are not the only clothes I bought him for school, but he seems to especially like those particular two pairs of pants, they must be comfy or something, which is fine, as long as they are worn with the intended shirts.  Neither of them go especially well with the brown and cream and green striped Gap polo shirt geeze Jack what are you thinking?  As he rounded the corner wearing again a mismatched outfit, I looked at him and very crabbily said “Jesus Christ Jack, what the hell is  wrong with you?  We have been going through this same scenario every freaking school day!  That shirt does not match those pants!  Go change, what the hell? Are you f-ing color blind?”  At which point he strolled back up the stairs without saying a word to change his clothes, and my six year old daughter Madison (remember her?  The overly smart and logical child?) says “Well duh mom, he IS color blind.”  This is the exact moment that I shriveled up into a tiny little pile of shit on the floor.  I then say to myself “ You f-ing moron…how the hell can you call yourself a mother, all summer you looked at that kid playing outside, all the while giggling at his choice of outfits, wondering how he comes up with these color combinations and then you say to yourself, “he is only playing outside with his friends who cares”, not giving one single thought, and obviously totally forgetting….HE IS COLORBLIND!  DUH.YOU.STUPID.ASS!”

After I regrouped myself I went up and apologized PROFUSELY and helped him pick out a new outfit.  He didn’t seem to be too upset with me…HE IS SUCH A GREAT KID!

I don’t really feel like I deserve him today…